Thursday, January 16, 2014

PB2 Protein Shake

My folks, both of whom are the sort of people who are very into Enya, herbal remedies, and nature hikes, gave me this.

I'm having trouble deciding whether their contributions to this blog are encouragement or a roundabout way of saying "we wish you had moved out sooner."

It's powdered, low fat, peanut butter. In terms of incongruity, the combination of "low fat" and "peanut butter" falls somewhere between "total contradiction of terms" and "spitting in the face of God". Silly Whole Foods hippies.

You're supposed to mix 2 parts powder with 1 part water. To its credit, it is gluten-free and very low in calories. 45 calories per 2 tablespoons, 13 calories from fat. Nice treat for the health conscious or a desperate attempt to make restrictive diets less miserable? We'll see. The internet is chock full of recipe suggestions for this product. In the interest of saving time, I selected an easy protein shake recipe. It calls for a scoop of protein powder but I would sooner put money towards a trip to Montauk than protein powder. That is to say, I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever willingly pay for either. Instead we used some mixed drink I found at the local liquor store. Rum is protein right? Also you're supposed to use almond milk but fuck that.

I must say, Strawberry Rum Job is a horrible name and I'm positive that I would have called it the same thing if it had been up to me. Feelin' some cognitive dissonance here.

You need
A banana
Buzz Ball (which was a total rip btw. 3 bucks for that tiny thing.)
Honey (optional)

Price: $10 - $20

It's very easy. 2 tbs of powder + banana + 1 1/2 cups of milk + 2 tbs of honey + Buzz Ball + blender = done.

Obviously, it isn't fair to write this product off after using it for one recipe and incorrectly at that. I look forward to trying this again in something less poorly conceived. Stay queer!

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