Either self-rising flour or all-purpose flour, salt, and baking soda.
Price: $1 - $10
Preheat your oven to 400. If you're using all-purpose flour, combine 2 cups it with 1 tsp of salt and 3 tsp of baking powder. If you have self-rising, just use 2 cups of that. Combine that with a cup of milk and 6 tbs of mayonnaise. Stir until combined.
Lightly grease a baking sheet and drop spoonfuls of the batter onto it. These were made with absolutely no love and I'm not even slightly ashamed of how sloppy they look.
Bake on the center rack until golden brown.
They're actually not bad at all!
Perhaps a brave new world of unlikely biscuits awaits? Stay queer!