Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Sausage Milkshak- I mean, sausage and ice cream dip.

I was cooking datil pepper sausage for non-blog purposes today. As I lovingly parboiled it, taking care to avoid puncturing the casing, I thought to myself “It’s too fucking hot!”  Followed shortly thereafter by “What am I going to make this week?  I still haven’t gone to *spoiler* OR *spoiler*…and I still have those bread crumbs. How the hell am I going to use them all?”  So I pondered…
and pondered…
and pondered…
for a good 20 or 25 seconds. (I ponder quickly).  An idea was hatched.  An idea that would provide me with all the wonders of sausage, a way too cool, off and an excuse to use some bread crumbs.  So come friends.  Come with me on this journey.
You will need:
Condiments you like
Vanilla ice cream
Seasoned bread crumbs:  I’ll never be free, they’ll be with me always.
Total: $10 - $20

The sausage was already cooked by the time I made up my mind.  You can make sausage in a bunch of different ways, just look it up.  The trick is to cook it evenly over a medium to low heat and avoid puncturing the casing. If you don’t have the time or patience I guess you could just buy your favorite type of brats or hotdogs.  Odds are good that you won’t be able to find datil pepper sausage or sauce easily but if you can get your hands on it then go for it.  

Rip up about 3 oz of sausage into small chunks.  Throw that, some ketchup, mustard, relish, 2 oz of cheese, a quarter cup of bread crumbs and about a cup and a half of ice cream into a blender.  Fuck around with the proportions to your taste. 

Now blend!  Blend it before God and all the bones of the saints!  Ok, now you’re done.


Drinking this gets real nauseating real fast.  However, if you repurpose it as a sandwich spread or dip it’s quite good. On a hunch I put some on toast and suddenly I was enjoying it.  I suppose the consistency and flavor are only good in small doses.  Makes sense sort of, I mean you wouldn’t want a tall frothy glass of mayonnaise, would you?  It’s got a sweet, spicy, tomato-y flavor to it and it’s VERY thick.  You still get the hint of sausage in their too.  I guess it’s a partial success?  Kinda?  Maybe?  Well, either way, that’ll teach me to put off buying supplies.  Stay queer!

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