Prison Spread Deluxe: The Second Offense

I'll give you all a moment to stop rolling your eyes...

Done?

Ok.  I found a more complicated prison spread recipe!  The basic one I made earlier was good but I didn't really explore.  It would be like making a vanilla cake and saying “Ok!  That’s all for cake!  No need to experiment!” if I didn't try another version.  Also, I’m broke.  Anyway, this particular recipe is based off of something called “pork rind soup”. The process this time is a bit more like what you'd have to do in prison.

Well, guess what?  We have another record breaker!  My search for pork rinds took me to 6 and was fruitless.  I’m actually happy about that because I hate pork rinds and the amount I needed would have left me with excess.  

You Need

Doritos: .50

A spicy beef stick of some sort

Hot sauce

Mayonnaise

Spicy nacho cheese

Ramen

Cheez-its

Pickle relish

Total: $1 - $10

Make yourself some ramen, but don’t add the spice pack yet.  While that’s cooking, dice up the beef stick and set aside some chips and cheez-its.

If anyone cares, that's about a half serving of cheez-its

Drain off most of the water and transfer the noodles and remaining water into a ziplock bag.  Crush up the chips and cheez-its and microwave your nacho cheese for about 20 seconds.  Now add the crushed chips and cheez-its, cheese, diced beef stick, a spoonful or packet of relish, a spoonful or packet of mayonnaise, some hot sauce and the spice packet to the bag.  Seal it and knead the bag to mush the stuff together.   

 

Now wrap the bag in a towel and let it cook for about 5 minutes.

Ohh, that is mad spicy.  I like it.  You can taste the cheese more than in the first recipe.  It has a sticky, soft and creamy texture.  The chip chunks are soft, but not soggy and the slim jim is less chewy.  The relish adds an occasional small hint of sweetness.  I think too much of it would have made it too sweet and overpowered the cheese.  What’s nice that that the relative scarcity of the added chips and meat means that it’s very distinct when you get some in a mouthful, so the flavor is somewhat dynamic.  Gotta admit, I didn’t expect this recipe review to need this much depth and complexity...or any at all to be honest. Stay queer!