The Curious Package from Colorado

Goodness!  It seems that mother has sent me a small package!  Whatever could it be?

 

Oysters?  Oh, I love oysters!  But why would mother take the trouble to mail me a tin of oysters all the way from Colorado?  What’s this?  It seems that there's something else in the oyster box.

 

Mercy me.

Yup, crickets.  These aren’t your grandfather’s crickets though.  These are bacon and cheese crickets, bitch!  These are for cool kids on the go who have to have their bacon and cheese flavor right in the crickets because they ain't got no time for slicing cheese and frying bacon between sweet jam sessions, skate boarding, and wearing sunglasses regardless of whether or not they need them! I’ve been wanting to branch out into bugs lately, so this is as good a start as any. 

It’s got a nutty flavor to it and it’s very crunchy.  It's a bit like a dried soybean actually.  The hint of cheese is nice, but I don't really taste any bacon.  If I gave this to someone who was blindfolded they’d probably like it fine.  It’s not gross and it doesn’t have a weird texture or anything. That's all I really have to say about them but it’d be a shame to end so briefly.  Let’s see how it stacks up with some other foods.

OREO

No noticeable difference other than a faint nutty flavor.  If you smush it down, it doesn’t look any different from a regular oreo.  Not bad for a practical joke.

Mustard

Mustard + cheese + cricket = delightful!

Ice cream

The texture reminds me of praline crunch ice cream and it only had a faint aftertaste.  Again, not bad for a practical joke.  These things are like whoopie cushion of the animal kingdom.

Tuna

Not at all bad but canned tuna that’s crunchy is somewhat unsettling, especially considering the redundancy of adding bugs to tuna.  Stay queer!