Michelada (F'realz this time)

Ok, I said I'd try to make a proper michelada so here goes. There are a ton of recipes for it online and it seems like every single one is accompanied by some stupid argument about how authentic it is.

"Don't use tabasco sauce, use cayenne and diced jalapenos!"
"Fuck that, why didn't you add clamato juice?"
"That's not a michelada, that's a chelada. Also, you're supposed to add tequila."
"No it's not! That would make a michelada cubano and why aren't you using salsa?"
"There's too much lime, use lemon."

And ON and ON and ON. Apparently, the details of a michelada vary from region to region. It's a bit like a bloody mary, except people are really particular about how their version is THE ONE TWUE WAY of making it. I'm sorry if I seem frustrated, but I spent like a half hour trying to find a recipe that didn't seem to piss anyone off and I failed. So, here is a recipe I found somewhere (I can't find it again for some reason). It's automatically rendered inauthentic because I'm a Caucasian American in New York using ingredients I bought locally so at least that takes some pressure off.

You need:
A cervesa (I used Modelo Especial)
Coarse salt
Hot sauce
Worcestershire sauce
Soy sauce
A lime

Cost: $1 - $10

Cut a wedge of lime and slit it in the middle. Run it around the rim of the glass to coat it. Salt the rim of the glass and fill it half with ice. Squeeze the rest of the lime into the glass. Add a few dashes of all of the sauces to your taste and pour the cerveza over it. Emi was kind enough to model it.

Holy shit, this is so much better. The relatively light flavor of the cervasa is mostly covered by the sauces and they all blend together nicely. Unlike the awful lemon blitzkreig in the last post, the lime is more subtle and zesty. Of course, most beer drinkers know that lighter beers and lime are bros, so that's not too surprising. It actually tastes refreshing and I'm reminded a bit of a bloody mary. The people who made that mix need to be slapped. That said, it's not really that great. I found myself wanting a bloody mary instead of another michelada, but that might be because I'm a vodka woman. I don't generally like cerveza that much either (I prefer stouts) but I will say that it tastes better in this than it does straight. If you are a fan of cerveza then you'll probably like this. I bet it's really nice on a hot day. Stay queer!