Monday, May 2, 2011

Sardine Turnovers: Sardines and pastry, together at last.

As I was merrily gallivanting through the internet, I stumbled upon this little gem (scroll down a bit):
This apparently came from some unspecified cookbook.  No word on how it tastes, so I decided to rise to the occasion.  I like sardines and turnovers but it never occurred to me to combine the two.  Fortunately, we all know that two good things are always better when combined, like guinea pigs and computer chips, or durian fruit and pate. I'm sure this will be similar.

Frozen pie crust
1 can of sardines in water
Sweet pickle relish
Lemon juice
Yellow mustard
Price range: $10 - $20

Preheat the oven at 400 degrees.

Press the moisture out of 3 tablespoons of sweet relish, which in no way resembles a discharge that pediatricians have to familiarize themselves with in order to diagnose intestinal illnesses in infants.

Drain the sardines and add them, the relish and the mustard together.

Nothin’ says lovin’ like spinal cords in the oven.  Now mix them together.

I’m not sure if this looks better or worse.

Anyway, cut a pie crust into 3X3 inch squares and put some of the mixture in the center.

Pinch the opposite ends of the square together tightly, cut some vents in the top and brush with cold milk.  If you don’t have a pastry brush, you can use your fingers.  

Near the end of this process I realized that I had too much crust left for the rest of the filling so I opted to make one big one.  Who am I to impose conformity on my turnovers?  Each is an individual and shouldn’t be forced to fit my definition of not wad-shaped!  In the picture below you may see the clumsy fumbling of an amateur, but I see the indomitable spirit of radical individuality!


Anyway, pop them into the oven at 400 for 10 minutes, then reduce the heat to 350 and bake them for another 10-12 minutes.  The finished product:

Huh, they kind of look like little mutant lemur heads.  The flavor of the mustard is a bit overpowering.  I’m actually reminded of a regular fish sandwich more than anything.  Thankfully, the cooking process robbed the sardines of their stench and fishy flavor.  I guess if you like fish sandwiches you’ll like this.  Probably not going to work that way for people who like turnovers, but hey, who knows?  I don’t think “turnover” is really the appropriate term for it.  Perhaps “fish wad” but that probably won't take off.

Stay queer!

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